The power of introverts
Now, why did she tell us this story about summer camp? She says there are 50 others she could have told which had the same message of how her quiet and introverted style was not necessarily the right way to go and that she should be passing more as an extrovert. But she always felt deep down inside that it was not the right way to go. Because introverts are pretty excellent just the way they are. She believed this but denied it for years.
She went on to become a Wall Street Lawyer instead of the writer that she always wanted to be. Well, it was partly because she had to prove to herself that she could be bold and assertive too. She was going out to crowded bars even though she preferred just to have a nice dinner with friends. And she made those self-negating choices reflexively, and she wasn't even aware she was making them. And that's what many introverts do, and it's the introverts' loss for sure. But it's not only the introverts' loss, but it's everyone else's as well. Because when it comes to creativity and leadership, we need introverts to do what they do best.
Can you guess how much of our population are introverts? Well, Cain has the answer to this question. She mentions how a third to half of the population are introverts. In other words, one of every two or three people you may know. Even if you are extrovert yourself, then your coworkers, spouses, children, or even the person sitting next to you right now are subject to this bias. It is pretty deep and accurate in our society, and we internalize it from a very young age without even understanding what we are doing.
In order to see this bias, we have to understand what introversion is. It often gets mistaken for being shy, but it's different. Shyness is about fear of social judgment. Introversion is more about how you respond to stimulation, including social stimulation. Extroverts crave large amounts of stimulation, while introverts feel at their most alive and capable when they are in quieter, more low-key environments. Now these things aren't absolute all the time, but most of the time, they are.
Therefore, the key to maximizing our talents is to put ourselves in the zone of stimulation that is right for us. But that's where the bias comes in. This is because the most important institutions, such as schools and workplaces, are designed mostly for extroverts and their need for lots of stimulation. We have this belief system now, which Cain calls the new groupthink, which holds that all creativity and productivity come from a very oddly gregarious place. Let's understand this by picturing a typical classroom nowadays. When Cain went to school, she remembers they sat in rows where they did most of their work autonomously. But, nowadays, the typical classroom has pods of desks, making four to six kids all facing each other. And they work on countless group assignments, even in math or creative writing, which you think would depend on solo thoughts. This just shows that kids are now expected to act as committee members, and kids who prefer to go off by themselves or work alone are seen as outliers or, even worse, as problem cases. And the majority of teachers believe that the ideal student is an extrovert rather than an introvert, even though introverts get better grades and are more knowledgeable, according to research. And all of these things are true for workplaces as well, especially the ones where there are just open-plan offices with no walls. Because of that, introverts are subject to the constant noise and gaze of their coworkers. And, when it comes to leadership, introverts are actually being passed over for leadership positions even though introverts tend to be very careful and much less likely to take outsize risks.
And an interesting research by Adam Grant at the Wharton School has found that introverted leaders often deliver better outcomes than extroverts do. Are you wondering why? Well, because they are managing proactive employees and they are much more likely to let them run with their ideas, whereas extroverts can get excited about things and just put their own stamp on things.
Even if we look back on history, some of our transformational leaders have been introverts. Examples include Eleanor Roosevelt, Rosa Parks, Gandhi, and many more. All of these people described themselves as quiet and soft-spoken. And they still took the spotlight even though their inside voice was against the idea. But this turns out to have special power because people realized that these leaders were not under the spotlight because they enjoyed it so much but because they had no other choice and they were driven to do what they thought was right.
Now, Cain also emphasizes her love for extroverts. She mentions how some of her best friends are extroverts, and guess what? Her husband as well. Of course, they all fall at different points along the introvert/extrovert spectrum. Even Carl Jing, a psychologist who popularized these terms, said that there is no such thing as a pure introvert or a pure extrovert. But if we put these two words aside, there is also the middle of the introvert/extrovert spectrum. Those people are called ambiverts. And they most likely have the best of all worlds. However, many of us recognize ourselves as one type or another, but we need more of a yin and yang between these two things, especially when it comes to creativity and productivity.
Psychologists also agree with this because when they look at the lives of the most creative people, they find that the most creative are very good at exchanging ideas but who also have a serious streak of introversion in them. And this is because the crucial ingredient for creativity is solitude. Now, this doesn't mean that we all should stop collaborating. Let's look at the example of Steve Wozniak, who came together with Steve Jobs to start the Apple computer, and as we all can agree today, it was a success. This just shows that collaborations are okay as well, but solitude should not be discouraged or looked at poorly.
People want to make introverts feel guilty for wanting to go off by themselves. The question is, why? Cain believes that the answer lies in cultural history. In Western societies and particularly in the U.S., the man of the actions is always favored over the man of contemplation. But in the early days of the Americas, people lived in a culture of character, where people were valued for their inner selves and their moral rectitude. But then we hit the 20th century; we entered a new culture that historians call the culture of personality. What happened is we had evolved from an agricultural economy to a world of big business. And that's the world we're living in today.
None of this is to say that social skills are unimportant, and Cain is not calling for the abolishing of teamwork at all because the problems that we are facing today in fields like science and economics are so vast and complex that they require armies of people coming together to solve them working together. But she says that the more freedom that we give introverts to be themselves, the more likely they are to come up with their own unique solutions to such problems.
Lastly, Cain speaks about an important role model in her life, her grandfather. He had a ceremonial role and would talk to the public, and people from all over would come to hear him speak. But there was something special about her grandfather; underneath his ceremonial role, he was modest and really introverted. To the point that he had trouble making eye contact when delivering sermons to the crowd in front of whom he had been speaking for 62 years. But when he died at the age of 94, the streets had to be closed down to accommodate the crowd of people who came out to mourn him.
Cain opens up about trying to learn from her grandfather's example in her own ways. She just published a book about introversion, and it took her about seven years to write. She felt that those seven years were a total bliss because she was reading, writing, thinking, and researching. It was her version of being similar to her grandfather, who spent days alone in his library. But now things are a bit different, and she has to talk about introversion to a crowd, and that's much harder for her to do. Even though she is honored to be giving a TED talk, she says that it's not her natural milieu. However, she did great.
She ends her speech by making three calls for action for the people who share similar beliefs as her.
Number One: Stop the madness of constant group work.
Number Two: Go to the wilderness.
Number Three: Take a good look at what's inside your own suitcase.
To sum up, through her speech and three calls for action Susan Cain encourages us not to be afraid to be private and have our own freedoms. She encourages us to have our own revelations and get inside our own heads a little more often. Last but not least, we should take a good look at what's inside our suitcases, and we should open up our suitcases for other people to see because the world needs us and the things we carry. Introvert, extrovert, or ambivert, you choose which one you want to be, but always be courageous on your journey and understand others' choices.
